[2255] Never Say Goodbye

Desmond:

I stim with Ettie's crescent moon bracelet staring off towards the flowery graves. There had been so much death and.. alien funerals lately.. And now... Merediths and Beolans...

It had been so many months of worry for them... To eventual, terribly grieved, acceptance... Had it really almost been a year now?... I swallow and breathe in sharply.

When it finally hit, it hit hard, I just sobbed and couldn't stop sobbing.

I'm just thankful I had time to cry and mourn alone at home in peace and had months to feel the depression and slowly move on to accepting and having to live on with the void of their absence, as time is ever passing, before this big day. I wouldn't want all these people with all their own sadness and heavy burdens to feel like they had to carry mine too.

Thankfully or perhaps it shouldn't be "thankfully" given the situation with the humans, but my sister had been so wrapped up and preoccupied with her own problem she didn't notice my struggle either so I wasn't a burden for her either. (She had been worried for Fritz, as the possibility was great that she could lose him as the humans began dying off. It caused her to realize she loved him. But at the same time, it was terrible timing because she was torn between wanting to let him know before she never got the chance with also not wanting to take away any time from him with his own dying family and friends and also worried she might make things awkward if he didn't feel the same and she wanted to be there to support him... Crystal vented this to me hoping for advice. I just told her to be there for him.)

But enough thoughts about me or my sister. This was about them.

I hope it wasn't... Horrible?... Of course, whatever happened was horrible. Stupid thought... I hope it was quick and I hope they found peace...

It was... wrong... that their bodies couldn't be found... And as I think of it, staring at their empty graves, it left a brief empty feeling inside my stomach. I hope whatever happened to them they weren't eaten by their killers. They didn't deserve to keep a piece of them that way. They deserved to have been with the people who actually cared for them.

I hadn't brought anything for the graves like the others... I never did to any of the funerals that had happened lately. It just... Wasn't how I showed respect for the dead or grieved like these other alien cultures.

In fact, if I had practiced the way I believed in I'm sure it would not have gone over well. Especially seeing now how beloved and popular she was and how many seemingly lives she had touched to have gathered such a following of grievers. So as terrible as it was, and my worry for what eventually happened to her, there was a part of me that was honestly, genuinely, relieved Meredith's body was never found.

I blink out of my deep thoughts hearing my name and look to Carry, then at the hiding Ettie.

Ettie...

At least she made it.

If all three of them hadn't I...

I feel a sadness stirring in my chest and try to avert it. It didn't happen. She's here. She's SAFE.

I smile sadly at her and look up to Carry.

"H-hi." I greet quietly, hesitantly.

Carry:

I was really rooting for those kids..

10 months wasn't alot of time to say they are 'dead' really...but I think the king.. and when I say him I mean ...BLYTHE wanted everyone to move on and thought this was the way. It was something Sorin would do truly. 

Morgain made some sly comment Ettie's bracelet put a curse on them. Is he ever going to drop it with that.  

.. good dane...

My eyes fall to Desmond at the thought somehow and I wait for him to notice us. Once he does I begin since Ettie is so terribly shy. 

"The hunter society wanted me to give you this."

I present him with a pin badge in the shape of claws, it was GuildMaster advanced armor that is hidden in a pin and can be that expanded open. It was  pale almost white silver laced armor with light hint of golden hues of the Fairchilde sect of hunters. A high honor.

"We thank you for your work and even though your a cadet for now your always welcome to the lodge, even if you just need someone to talk to after the ordeal."

So many never are the same..

"Thank you for your service."

(Ettie): "Th..thanks." She looks at him wide eyed and almost forgot to give her gift.

She shows him a prism scale crystal that she carved a full moon in so the light shining through it casts a circler rainbow.

Desmond:

Looks wide-eyed from him to the badge pin back to him.

"Uh...  I..."

It seemed wrong to take it. All I did was bite a guy to kill him. Sure, the throat burn lasted for a long time before it healed and I didn't succumb to all those other vamps that nearly drained me dry, but couldn't anyone have done that in there own way? Even without the bite? Or... Am I missing something because it just... didn't really seem like I did much... It was only that and the fact that I... Survived... Shivers being reminded of Mer and Beo who didn't and the terrible abyss of guilt of roping Mer into it... I feel the pit of self-blame start to zone me out and pull me in, but I try to focus on this current dilemma.

I suppose thinking about it, I'm belittling it and it is actually rude and uncool. Surviving wasn't nothing, because so many didn't and that would in a way be mean and disrespectful to them. And killing the guy, wasn't nothing either, because of what he did. No matter the thoughts that someone else could have done it because clearly they hadn't. So.. I just had to accept the honor.

"Thank you..." I finally finished saying after my guilt trip zone out thoughts and took the badge pen. I then look to Ettie. I watch as she shows me what she carved and the rainbows. It reminds me of a happier memory. Of Ettie glad to be able to display her appreciation by showing the prism crystal in the playroom. Of course, the memory continued on poorly to the feelings of her body being drained to the point of unconsciousness, but that earlier feeling and knowing of her appreciation lifted my mood because this time she was showing it to me.

"Oh wow! What a kaleidoscope of beauty and skill! You really carved it perfectly!"

I try to think of a way I could show my appreciation back and an idea comes to mind.

"Oh wait! I got an idea."

I put the badge pin in my pocket, not wanting to take the time to pin it and also not wanting to accidentally expose it to fire.

I pause.

"Now don't be scared. I just want to try this for you. To add clouds to your brilliant rainbow sky." I warn with a smile, just in case 'the mark' would scare her. I unwrap my hand bandage. I didn't like keeping the mark bandaged, but I knew some people thought it was a vampire curse and I was a bit worried some of the Priest Slayer class might insist on some sort of exorcism ritual or something. I knew it wasn't a curse. It was a gift from god dad. But I would feel bad if it made them uncomfortable or made them waste their time. I didn't mind if anyone wanted to look at it and check it out, then I could show god dad's gift proudly. I just didn't want them to get rid of it.

I raise my marked left hand in front of my face and furrow my brow as I try to focus on slowly letting out smoke. I take a moment to focus on speeding it up and concentrating it. Once I get it going good enough, I relax my face with a smile and use my other hand to cup around the smoke, bring my hands to my lips, and suck in the smoke. It tickles my throat but after having it burned for months I had the willpower to not give in to coughing. I lean toward the rainbow reflection and blow out the smoke into puffs around it to make 'clouds'. I release a bigger puff that makes a smoke ring around the circler rainbow.

I look at Ettie with a grin. "We can make whole skies together!"

Meredith:

**2 Month Skip**

My situation could not be more hopeless.

Or at least so I thought.

Firing SOS shots into outer space and messaging the planet's surface proved just as useless as my search for an intact escape pod.

The Xern station was completely destroyed and I think it was safe to say Beolan was dead too.

I would have thought by now someone would have arrived to look for survivors, or at the very least collect their dead.

There were few things on this station I was grateful for.

The first being the quantity of food held in storage, the second was the deep freeze which was a good place to store our dead so they wouldn't rot.

Collecting their bodies around the station was gross, but I somehow got through it.

When I wasn't crying over the loss of my friends and fellow crewmembers, I was panicking that no one would come for me.

My nights were just as restless filled with nightmares of everything my mind had yet to process.

All the trauma of Beolan's abandonment came rushing back to me along with the pain and suffering of my time spent alone on that planet.

Despite, Beolan's last words, his reappearance hit me like a blow to the stomach and it was all I could do to keep it together.

All this time it was true, he really did leave me.

From a table where I sat in the dining area, I kept busy, rationing out my food supply and calculating how long I could make it last.

At least several months.. hopefully.

By then I will have come up with a way out of here or at the very least be discovered by another vessel if not my own people.

**4 Month Skip**

Ok time to panic.

Food was running low and I was no closer to escape now than when I first started..

So this was it then? Everyone was dead and soon I will be too.

I pace around on the spot from where I was on the observation deck no longer sad but angry.

How could they all be dead?! So many powerful creatures down there and not one survived???

Obviously there were survivors, and they most likely just failed to check the station before moving along elsewhere.

I was so angry at the incompetance of such a move.

King Sorin would have never allowed for such carelessness which made me wonder who the new guy was to mess up so bad!

I lose my temper and start tearing up the place, even though it did not make me feel any better.

A piece of debris from the Xern station bumps into the station window causing me to jump.

I stare at it for a moment in complete exhaustion unable to do anything further.

I go to bed.

**1 Month Skip**

I sit on the floor staring at the gun in my hand.

The food was almost gone now and the thought of starvation lay heavy on my mind.

Exhaustion paired with my past trauma and loneliness inspired my hallucinations to return.

At first they kept me company, distracting me from my ever increasing sense of hopelessness but soon even they weren't good enough.

I had lost track of how much time had passed and was now faced with the ultimate decision, to hold out to the bitter end or end my suffering now.

I stare at my choice of weapon in thought.

When aimed appropriately, it would be the fastest way to take my life.

The only problem was should my sense of self preservation kick in at the final moment, I could severely wound myself instead, allowing for a much slower and painful sort of death.

From what I experienced of "the fall" the thought of undergoing such suffering again scared me even worse than starvation.

I set down the gun and crawl down the hallway from where I sat to try and keep myself from pulling the trigger.

**1 Month Skip**

Death had finally come for me.

The station's water supply, which was endless do to a unique filtration system which absorbed the frost on the station's exterior, was the only thing keeping me alive.

A weakness such as I had never known before overtakes me in both body and mind.

I struggle breathing, feeling sharp pains shoot through my abdomen from time to time.

During my final hours of dissolution, a thought so sick it could have only come from a place of complete desperation enters my mind and I startle awake.

The bodies..

I get out of bed and weakly stumble to the kitchen freezer, placing my hand on the door hatch and closing my eyes in thought.

Was it really worth it? Would living any longer really improve my chances at survival?

I think of my crew inside and what I would have to do to prepare them for consumption.

Did I really have the willpower to do such a thing?

Could I even forgive myself if I did?

I back away from the door sickened.

A sharp pain interrupts my thoughts, slicing through me like a knife.

I gasp.

It was time I... get that gun..

I stiffly walk back to the kitchen door nearly in tears as I did it.

Something about what I was going to do felt even worse than my first thought.

Am I doing this right? Am I doing the right thing?

Being alone for so long had really messed me up.

I think of the gun again and what would follow.

Pain, darkness...the end...

I panic and go over my options again.

Option 1: kill myself; Option 2: wait to die; or Option 3: eat the crew...

Then wait to die again? Oh my Dane what am I going to do???

I burst into tears before finally relenting.

No, I must, I must live! They'll forgive me.. they'll forgive me even though I don't want them to.

I laugh and sob all at once before turning around and making my way back to the freezer

This time to do what needed to be done... to survive.

Ettie:

I blush a little at the praise for my art. It was finely something not a flower I made either so I was kinda worried about it. 

The sky seemed so alien after all these years in the station. Even now with the darkened atmosphere. My eyes widened at Des's clouds and how amazing his powers are.

The mark felt familiar and I try not to stare at it.

I look at the clouds around the circler rainbow wide eyed.

He said we could make whole skies together.

"Whoa..t..thats..so..pretty.."

Desmond:

I smile. "Glad you think so."

I would offer to let her try to breathe out her own smoke clouds but I'm not so sure her dad would be happy with me if I did.   

I stop my hand from smoking and cover it back up. As I do so I see the bracelet and feel my mood drop again in guilt that I was feeling happy during Meri's funeral. Her death was my fault. I shouldn't feel good today. I pause staring at it briefly, then swallow and look back at the flowery graves for a moment in thought. The colours of the flora like Ettie's rainbow. The thought comes to me that it was a shame they got all those after death instead of before.

Stims with the bracelet starring.

A part of me hoped I could stick around them and maybe help in some way today to try to get past the heavy atmosphere and arouras of this day of tragic remembrance. But I wasn't sure if that was wrong of me. Was it okay of me to enjoy the vibes of Ettie and her family's company and the relief of knowing at least they were safe and... alive...? Or did I have to send all my thoughts and energies to the planes beyond? It was my fault she's up there... She should have my attention... Especially on today of all days for her laid-to-rest day... But... The thought alone just made me feel so tired and exhausted. One part of me felt I deserved the sadness today, but another part stirred with resentment.

Hadn't I grieved enough all these months? At this point, they've probably been dead longer than I knew them.

No... It was... It was my fault. Meri was such a beloved beacon of hope in the world. And I helped snuff it out by getting her to come along... I caused that void. Just one more day of grieving...

If I even have any more emotions to spend on it?

Meri would keep herself busy... Help people, I think... There's probably plenty of stuff that needs to be done as everything is rebuilt and people's lives try to go back to normalcy despite the voids of those missing and places gone. Maybe that could be a repentance...

"S-sorry.." I mumble as I look back to Ettie and Carry. I hope I hadn't zoned out long in my conflicted emotions and thoughts. I press my thumb into the crescent moon shape's ends trying to jab some pain into me as punishment in case I had made things uncomfortable and wasted their time.

"Um... Any... Plans for today?" I ask hesitantly, then tumble out apologetically and rapidly to Carry. "Was that an okay thing to ask during an alien funeral? I didn't mean to come across as disrespectful since I know today's vibes are focused on the spirits who have long passed."

Carry:

I sense something off Desmond, that..hand.... but wasnt sure if his power wasnt species based or not. There was very little we knew of Desmond's species in general so I did not assume anything.

It cheered Ettie up and probably was what was needed at a time like this.

Desmond asks a question then another, if the first one was appropriate.

Just to clarify the culture gap even further. 

"Not at all, its fine."

I assure him as I rub the back of mu head.

"Uh well I was going with the new mission, the King's ship is about ready and he wanted to maybe cast some sunshine on a hopeful future as well.."

I wasnt sure if Desmond was going or not. I haven't really did much training with the cadets. know their latest scores and mission tasks yet since this happened and we lost the NEO.

 I was kept busy at home. I cant leave Zorra with all those kids.

But since Sabel is gone, they need a more senior officer to review the old station.

Desmond:

"Oh..." Frowns quizzically.

Sunshine?...

If sunshine was involved the mission sounded terrible. Sunlight was the work of the mean Queen and what good has bright light ever done to anybody? Poor Ettie's dad.

"May your travels be safe and your tasks be checkmarked. And that Ni'ed causes you no trouble on your quest of sunshine."

Sebastion:


I think the event went well. It was a rough one. I stop noticing the scene between master Fox and Des. 
I check my notes trying very hard to keep up with all this king stuff still - while my mind was sharp.

The hunter society honoring Desmond. Ah yes.. 

"Desmond! Carry! You know this is perfect! I was meaning to figure out who should be your mentor since D- Sorin could not uphold his reward!"

I should probably do it but I feel I'm still really too young and inexperienced to do anything to help him.

*both of their commutators beat updating the mission and check boxes, mentorship status*

"Get ready to make history today." I try to do a totally Sorin catchphrase. ... don't think I found it yet though.

(Ettie): "W..whose Ni..ed?"
She asks timidly and then notices me and bows nervously. 

Master Fox dips his head accepting the challenge.

Desmond:

It takes me a moment to even remember what he's talking about. I hadn't actually paid attention to the reward bit back then. I had been too preoccupied with what actually needed to be done of having to bite vampires and that it was what Carry wanted me to do. And that there were hundreds of lives on the line.

When I actually jog my memory of it though I also realize the whole reward thing never really a 'reward' for me anyway. It was mostly just a threat against Bey Bey that I'd be given stuff if he didn't bother to help.

....Huh... What a weird friendship we had. I think to myself in retrospect as I look to Bey's grave.

I hear Ettie's question and look back to the others and see people's heads lowered. Right, respect to the pack alpha. I quickly bow my head awkwardly and make sure to look at the ground to not come across as challenging the big man's authority.

After a moment of hesitation due to wondering if it's okay to speak yet, I look to Ettie and answer. "The Sun Queen. It's a sad story. They say she can't touch anyone and you can't look at her or you'll go crazy. She dried up all the water on my planet and killed the original primordial pool. My species came after out of the dirt that remained so we evolved to live without it. That's why we're allergic to water."

Little Ettie:

I watch wide eyed not quite sure what happened with the dinging. I was 'too young' for a communicator. 

(Carry): "Well, maybe we can work on some of your check boxes today.." He reads it over musing possiblites when the young King was gone
.
I listen to Des tell me about the Sun Queen. The name felt familair but Im not sure. Maybe in some far off dream.

Just the name sun sounded terrifying in vampire terms. 
I gulp thinking about the sun chamber where traitors got sent to die.. slowly as the light peaked.

Apparently the sun killed all the water for Des's people. 

"Ss scary."

I nod grateful for his answer.

Desmond:


"Yeah." I nod agreeing. "I wonder how such an evil substance like sunshine with bring hope to the future? Does he hope to conquer her?"

I take out my communicator and look at it curious if that will be listed in the assignment checkboxes.

It sounded super hard if not impossible...

Hmm...

"Maybe that's what all those blind classes were for? So we could try to be taught how to fight the Sun Queen since we can't look at her."

Carry:

I'm not sure if Desmond understands sunshine was a metaphor.. and it feels too late to tell him now

"Oh I think the seeing blind class will come in handy, because we're going back to the Bloodwatch station. The sun is about to die and everything will be lost if we dont act now."

Ettie's eyes go wide.

(Ettie): "G..g..gooodluck."

 She tells me and nods a little at Des too.

"Thanks.."

I dont say out loud ' Im gonna need it' 

I was way behind on my work already but didnt want to let Des's FUTURE down by not giving 100% to helping him make his marks.

Desmond:

So we can just let the sun die but we need to get the new big man stuff before she burns it with her. Okay, that makes sense.

"Ohhh."

Ettie gives a blessing of luck.

"Thanks, little dudet."

I hold up two peace signs to the side of my head making little ear points like batman or antlers.

"May the will of the universe be kind and help all in her grand design."

I bow my head to Ettie.

"And may she keep you safe while we're gone."

Meredith:

**A couple hours prior**

I analyze the bodies in the freezer, trying to determine which one disturbed me the least.

It did not matter, each in their own way did - whether it be by morbid appearance or personal recognition, to disassociate the individual from the meat was almost impossible.

I eventually work up the nerve to pick a body which terrified me the least and place it face down on the kitchen counter.

I was far too weak to wait for the body to thaw which meant I was left with cutting through the ice and skin by hand.

Not the most ideal scenario as I was already very weak with hunger.

I pull out a meat cleaver and pick a section of the corpose's back to begin my work.

I think back in that moment to my time spent alone on the planet. The one my abuella sent me after nearly escaping Boron's hybrids. I made it through the gate but she did not.

I thought of my first kill, I was 13 at the time and had managed to catch a small goat. Like now, I was near starvation and forced to kill the small creature to survive off its meat. It's cries were horrible as my first few attempts to kill the poor creature were unsuccessful. There was so much blood and the smell was absolutely foul. I sobbed for weeks after feeling like a complete monster for what I did.

Oh how I wished for this to be another goat..

I climb up on the counter top and use my body weight to continue sawing.

The ice kept the smell at bay but the mess was still considerable as pieces of skin and frozen blood, veins and arteries break off and go sliding accross the countertop and onto the floor.

A few times I startle, convinced I saw the body move.

I would take breaks and walk around the room trying to regain control of my myself before climbing back on the counter and startling again.

Once I had a considerable piece hacked off, I carefully rinse it and place it in the oven to cook.

I had hoped to space out the trauma of carving up the body in increments, but refreazing the body each time could ruin the remaining meat on the carcass.

A chance I could not afford to take.

When the meat was finished cooking I take it out and bring it to the table.

The smell.. wasn't bad but, the thought..

I dare to think of the crewmember I just carved and make a run for it to the waste bin and puke up my stomach contents, which at this point was only stomach acid.

I groan and start to cry again at how fucked up this was.

I should have just killed myself, it was a shame I was too much a coward to do so.

I get up and sit at the table again carefully taking a fork full of meat and forcing myself to chew and swallow.

I run to the waste bin again and vomit.

I needed to turn my brain off from what I was doing.. it was the only way I could get through this ....

but how?

I return to the table and stare at the plate of meat for a long hard moment before starting again and eating, this time shutting down completely.

At some point during the meal a new hallucination appears next to me. This one was strange as I had never seen him before. He refocuses my mind on the present and I choke out a sob in response too horrified at all the blood to acknowledge his mind's projection and what that meant.

My mouth tasted like syrup, why?!?... how????

"P-p-please stop!! ."

I beg the hallucination as my guilt soon turns to shame and I feel myself losing whatever sense of self worth that I had left.

My hallucinations become more vivid as my surroundings completely change and I am overly stimulated by light, sound and smell.

I scream and cover my head trying to make it all go away.

Everything was bleeding and the blood... so much blood...

Tears roll down my cheeks as I give him a questionable look.

"What does it matter?! I am damned either way!!!."

Meredith:

"I... I don't know."

I look down trying to think.

Why was my mind doing this to me now and what inspired this image?

I look back at the male finding him quite creepy

What was that red on his face? It almost looked demonic..

I try to humour his questions, hoping they would provide me with some form of clarity if nothing else.

"Perhaps a bit of both? I don't know why I should live I just, don't want to die.."

My answers were weak and his questions were many.

"Who are you?"

I finally ask, trying to make sense of his projection.

Flynn:

I morbidly peel more skin back letting it fall down into the flowers that still were the hushed whispered voices of her crew. 

"What a thought." I reply to her vague answers not quite dug in deep enough. 

The girl asks her own question and I appear before her suddenly.

"I'm the dark part you awakened in your struggle to live, the moment you tasted flesh you could finely see me, I can finely talk to you. Your more then human now, your aware of something greater.."

I tilt my head and ask another question as the sun continued to brightly shine on her.

Almost like a spotlight. Confession.

"I'm an old friend of one of your boys and a new benefactor to another...so How does it feel to  have seen Beolan for him to leave you yet again? He can not be dead you know, hes to powerful for that. He just never came back.."

I pause.

"And Desmond, whatever could he be doing thats more important then finding you? Who will you blame more if you ever see them?

I mockingly cast the shadow of the moon and star bracelet shapes over her solo sun.

Meredith:

The dark figure peels off some of his skin revealing more red underneath.

I jump startled when he appears in front of me.

His response was.. quite unnerving.

"I.. don't know."

I did not want to think that way.

I could not afford to.

My heart sinks and I finally allow my mind to wander.

"What would you have me do?"

I look at him, this time recognizing him for who he was.

"Is there a single thing I can do to warrant a second chance?"

Flynn:

Meradith did not want to consider my initial questions, maybe for another time then. Not enough has transpired yet. 

"I would like you.." I make a play on the very words she said humorously playing with a strand of hair before continuing. "..to consider your worth. Why you are here. Who you are without big scary Boren to liberate the galaxy from?  What is it now that its all over? Or will you make your own antagonist to fullfill the space?"

I space away from her. She speaks of 2nd chances.

"Oh you already gave yourself one , living another day.. off someone else. What comes next is to play the game."

*makes her wake up from dream CHOKING on a big chunk of sloth she thought she cut well enough but not quite*

Meredith:

I shoot a look at him in confusion.

His response surprised me as it seemed.. sincere.

I just didn't know what to think about it.

As the dark creature soon disappears he leaves me with some troubling thoughts.

Before I can reflect on them too closely however, I wake up choking.

What a vile moment to come back to..

I choke up what was lodged in my throat and get up, wishing to be as far away from the sloth meat as I could.

Carry:

This was very last minute but I did feel for Bash. He didn't seem well since the incident and was trying.

It wasn't easy to deal with it all so king, I didn't take the chance to be king when  I was his age.

Then as the ship was being red ribbon cut and I review Desmond's chart. So many boxes where checked by his big vampire slaying. Almost all Guilds but Food were sending tasks and offering rewards. 

Food Guild is too scared to poison him for allergies 


I make a mental note of what Desmond should focus on this mission before sitting next to him aboard the ship.

The ship was the first one build after the village's destruction and wasn't that advanced or large due to lack of supplies. NEO still cant be visited yet to hopefully find some of the original ships we had before.





It had the colorful shimmer of how they were rebuilding the village, I found it somewhat morbid to see the same ship that was Borens. Building on what killed you. Was... 

I snap out of the thought. 

"Well Desmond your very close to finishing marks on alot of the big Guilds. But what path were you perusing? Should we focus on rescue while on mission or navigating the course, a battle simulation if worst comes to worst?" 

I want to get a little in his head before advising a course here. 

There was many great possibilities of what we would find at Bloodwatch after all...he could set out on one path and find another.

(Tully): "What did you name the ship sir?" 

(Sebastion): "Pinkerwinkle. He was one of the lost that fateful day. The whole new fleet made out of the crystals will be named after the fallen who descended from  slothoina."

Desmond:

The ship was so colorful. I gaze over the spectacle as we go up to board it.

After getting seated Carry asks questions and I pause trying to give it thought.

Rescue came to mind first, but... Wouldn't preventing the need for rescue in the first place be better?... Not that it could be avoided of course.. The kingdom being an intergalactic kingdom and all. But still. Something to consider...

"Are the simulations just for the.. worst... Or to... Hopefully, prevent that too? Is it just an actual 'battle simulation' as in... Just physically fighting simulations?... Or like... hypothetical thinking senarios too?" I ask not entirely sure. I kinda just did what people told me. So the actual nuance of the guides and the specifics was a bit lost on me.

Tully and the new 'the man' were talking about the ship.

"So many colours. They're sure to catch the eye of all who gaze upon it." Whether that was a good thing or not was up to the individual's interpretation.

Carry:

Desmond asks of the simulations, personally I found it quite tidues but then again we never had such things when I was a youngster. 

"I believe it can be both, or written. It would be tactical to go over possible scenarios will could encounter at Bloodwatch, possibly vampire survivors.. possible pirates and squanders, maybe some trigger happy looters."

I muse it over. 

"Hopefully it wont come to it but if so battleplans will be drawn to protect the King and crew. Would you have any security recommendations for this particular time?"

Desmond:

I listen and ruminate over his explanation of it as I unconsciously fiddle with my bracelet.

He asks if 'I' had any security recommendations right now and my eyes widened slightly at him.

I look down at my bracelet, now consciously running my thumb over the side of the moon, picking at it.

"I.. I don't-.. don't want to assume what security the pros might have not of thought of..."

That might come across as rude and give off bad vibes.

"But uh... I guess for something I-I could do... Um.. I guess as a precaution against vampires, maybe if there's something easily breakable and containable, like maybe vials? I could spit in them and give them out to the security and then if they see em they can throw them at them? Spit grenades..." 

I lift up my feet on my seat so my knees are up protectively and I hunch over and mess with my bracelet.

"Is that stupid?... Or... Maybe they already asked trydeins to do that earlier...."

Carry:

I listen to Desmond being hesitant then putting forth an idea.

"Smart thinking, I don't believe we have gotten anything of the sort."

I reply as I look out the window thoughtfully pondering how little we knew of the aliens in general. 

"How about you go down and donate some now? Extra credit I'm sure somewhere.."

I tease and  stretch out in my seat to get ready to go through what I could claim for him with this idea.

"Maybe we'll be there by the time your done."

Desmond:

So it wasn't stupid. He thinks it's smart.

Breathes in a little easier.

The tease goes over my head. "Oh, okay."

I get up and go off to do that.

Potemkin:

I really did not want to get dragged into this right after Penny and Dad's funeral.  But Morgain insisted. INSISTED. The moment he came into my life I regret.

My father was some freak  I never met and apparently Morgain wanted to guide me to be better.  Probably the same for Fritz.

"I'm not staying Penny is dead...what is the point..."

I'd go fuck up h those guys she's always 'round cuz its THEIR fault we're here anyway but .. they are super intimidating and after all those village RUMORS about Klaus & Jospeh.

 I feel like I'll be in a kink dungeon if I set their shack on fire or something...

(Morgain): "How is you going home not going to end in a kink dungeon?"

I frown at his mind reading EVERYONE does here.

I feel like he is just trying to get me to not go back. If I could even find everybody..

"Do you understand how wealthy I am?? If they all died? I'm going back. Theres a title somewhere.."

I look at him seriously before Desmond comes in and is going to make spit bombs.

Fritz was excited to see the process how that worked as nurses helped set it all up.

Yeah I need to get out of here. This guy has ACID spit apparently.

He would be terrifying at full Giant Blonde size but he was so skinny I didn't feel like he was going to eat my nose off like a regular blonde giant slave.

(Morgain): " Oh Desmond make sure you name your weapon something fun! Memorable! Legendary!" He suggests to pass the time as they worked on the idea.

"Does his spit hurt me?"

(Morgain): "Errr lets not test one little man."  I see his worried look as he hands me another book to put away for him on the shelf. 

Omg... I need to GET OUT I cant even  get with a girl here they could all be acid spits!!!

I eye Fritz guy is so DOOOMED.

(Fritz): "Hey are you ok? I mean ok dumb question .given what we just left..err...sorry."

He pats me awkwardly on the way to the shelf with a downcast expression.

"Excuse me.."

*PUKES in a bucket unlike Meri*

Sebastion:


I sweat a little paranoid as my communicator buzzes about Desmond's experimental saliva weaponry and how it could be ..used on me.

I suck in a breathe trying to tell myself that wouldn't happen. But all I could continuously get through is seeing everything I've done and feeling like I deserve to pay for it. The feeling of a lingering pressence waiting I could not shake. 

I put the comuncater away not wanting to read all the 'ideas' such a weopen could be used for. 
Raginbar's death was horrible and he deseved it, I wouldnt wish that on even ..Beolan... 

Still so many quesions.. 

Being here brought it all up. I stare at the floating debris and ice..even some frozen bodies outside pass us. 

(Tamsin): "Sire I INSIST to go with you?! Why is this mandatory?" 

He was referring to of course my request to board the station without a landing party.

Thats because I wanted to send a transmission link through to the Xern Station without them knowing...

Raginbar and Raluca had to know something more about what happens after the 100 years of curse there has to be something else that can be done. They KNEW things, messed with things they shouldn't have, disgusting blood rituals and sacrifices surely they knew the future.


"I'll be fine.."


I check the scanners and see ONE life form.

.....


Knowing they wont let me go I delete the reading and board the station to check it out.

I may not have all my powers working quite right but I should be pretty powerful and able to take on one person.

"Helllo?"

It was so quiet, neat and tidy as I glance around my eyes changing to adapt to the darkness. 

"I KNOW your here. Come out.." I command to the BEAST.

Meredith:

I mindlessly wander from one room to the next, a sort of circuit I had adopted throughout my many months spent alone at the station.

I said nothing, felt nothing.. thought...almost nothing.

Only existed..

At times, I believed myself a ghost, the only reminder of my cursed mortality came from my daily feedings to which I no longer cared for.

I shut myself down to survive and so I did.

If you could call this living..

A voice echos in the darkness.

It was, so loud.

I wander passed the hallucination in dismay despising its energy.

*Covers ears and whispers to self in a small eerie voice to drown out its projection.*

Sebastion:

I stare confused at who I was seeing. We JUST had her funeral.

"Meridieth!?"

She is walking around in a trance I half thought this was in my head,  I AM going mad.

I grab her arm trying to prove to myself it was real.

But how??

"Meri?"

Sebastion:


I  freeze up still when she starts touching me as if I wasn't real. 


....


Then she gets more and more upset and I stumble back into the wall.


"I'm sorry... I.. didnt ..know.. "

I wasnt sure WHAT she had to do. Was she captured by pirates and left here?


Whatever it was must be awful and I cant even think trying to explain to her what happened to the village and how we were stuck there as a new homebase since NEOplanet was attacked soon after that disaster. 


I cant fathom how she surivered or got from NEO to here.

 "W..what?" I dare ask when she repeats herself.

Meredith:

I shake my head in tears and look at him in disbelief.

Did he really want to know?

I take his hand and pull him along with to the kitchens, or more accurately the deep freeze.

Like ripping a bandaid from the wound, this had to be done quick before I talked myself out of it.

"I think its time we join the rest of the crew."

I let go of his hand and open the freezer doors for him to look inside.

"Do you understand now?"

I ask when he has proper time to take in my meat locker.

Sebastion:

I shouldn't have asked it was too personal...

I gulp hard when she takes my hand and leads me somewhere I can not even think what she could possibly show me.

...

The heads are OCD lined up in the back... a few skinned carcasses, of familiar shapes...  hanging from the ceiling like a butcher shop... meat patties on the shelves...

Join the crew...

....

Oh my Dane.. 

"H..ow did they die?" I ask without looking away from the heads stare.

Meredith:

I pause for a moment at Bash's unexpected question.

I don't...know?

..........

I get flashes of things but it was all a bit scattered.

"Boron attacked the base, I remember being tortured and eventually passing out. When I came to the whole crew was dead."

Excluding me..

Desmond:

"Uh..."

I couldn't really think of a good name besides spit grenades.

I rationally know I didn't have to come up with one super fast but I still felt like I needed to stall. I prolong an answer by picking up some more vials and spitting in them as I think.

Carry say his bite was a god killer... So.. Could go that angle... But god killer liquid was a bit long. Especially when you could just say spit... Hmm...

I feel something come to mind. One of the languages of the 'evil humans' Dr. Morgain talks about. "Veru."

I then take a moment to let my mouth get wet again naturally as I look Dr. Morgain and ask,

"Should I donate blood too? Do you think that would do anything? Or be better or worse or different than the spit?"

Sebastion:


I finely look away understanding how hard this must have been. I cant imagine ..

The organization and display of them all was what got to me.   

I ponder what could have happened. I PUSH the thoughts I had away not believing Meri capable of IT 

"I..I'm sor..sorry." I stumble rubbing the back of my head looking down feeling like a blow to the chest at how bad I was failing this whole thing.

"Sabel.. died Boren killed her s...she didn't get to tell us what happened here. The village.. the planet got scotched by Boren's ship setting off the volcano and crash landing.. the King ..died too and we waited for NEO to get back to us. I thought.. NEO would come.. but they never did.."

I guess she knows neo is gone since its..

I look out the window. all the pieces.

"No communications and we finely are rebuilding, this is one of the first ships we made.. the.. *stops self from telling her the ship's name*

"Im so sorry Its been crisis one.. after another and I'm not my father."

I walk out of the freezer needing to breath clear of it.

Fritz:

I try to keep up light spirts disputing the depressing mass funerals. I try to ignore Potemkin going to leave. Leave me here. All alone.

But MY parents aren't dead yet so I wont inherit anything, its not worth me coming back. 

I tell myself as much as I want to stay here I felt so alone now without the other humans.

Its been SO amazing here and everyone I met...Crystal.. 

I cant imagine going back to mundane hiding in bording school...

The product made from Desmond distracts me and I do all I can to help and think about it taking out more of those horrible vampires. 

(Morgain): " "Veru. Is pretty catchy.." He comments and then  Desmond offers blood.
I jump the gun and get needles ready.


"yes sir!"


*hands shaking from NERVES*


(Morgain): "Lets not right now Desmond, um sanitation and all.  But thank you. If we encounter anymore today we will be ready."


"Oh we're here too.. you can go now. We'll work on this."


I smile trying to be over the top happ 


"You can count on us!"


I look at the Bloodwatch station in the window thoughtfuly of the horror's we faced last time then carry on for the Veru

Meredith:

I glance back at Sebastian and follow him out of the freezer when he apologizes.

I was expecting him to be more upset.

Perhaps yell, punish me or something.

The news he gives of what happened to our people was just as devastating as I thought it would be.

My heart sinks.

I did not have the words to comfort him; I hardly had any to comfort myself.

Instead, I wander over and hug him for a moment, hoping he would take it as a sign forgiveness though I was still quite messed up about the whole thing.

Desmond:

I look to Fritz, but then hear Morgain.

"Oh, right. Makes sense."

Yeah... Who knows... Maybe my blood could hurt more than the god vamps... Gotta be careful and do it safely.

I look back to Fritz.

"Cool. Thanks for all the help, bro."

I smile at him.

He was such a trooper. Even after all the sad stuff. How does he do it?

Maybe his work gives him a purpose to carry on? He seems all gung-ho for it.

I leave the lab back to where I had left Carry.

Carry:

I was looking aimlessly at remains of the Xern station, the white bone china looking material standing out in the darkness, sparkling. 

Someone alive surviered, because the worms in my captive heart didn't die. One person.

So it was all the more alarming Prince Bash... the King went alone to Bloodwatch. 

The nearest station if someone surviered the coven would flee too. 

"Desmond?"

He comes back over and I look away from the window. 

(Tamsin): "The King left without us, someone should check on him." He said sounding much more stressed then in meditative clarity.

Probably because if Bash is gone hes next up...

"If it was a Xern I'm sure we'd hear from him."

I point out.

"But there is one at least left...the vampires need one living heir to carry on the connection to it.."

I would assume Bellatrix's children... 

children could be carried off anywhere in this horrible galaxy full of such slavery.

I wouldn't have to look for them, if any vampires remained it would stop at nothing to find them...and secure its continuation... 
they would be regathered ruthlessly and restart it again.

Sebastion:

While trying to ..process all this Meradith just hugs me.

I cant say I ever had to go through her means of suriveral but I did know what its like to be alone, ....left alone and board.

 I felt so bad to have contributed to her suffering like this in a way. However could I make it up to her? 

Probably never. My mind slips back to the volcano and ..everything..

I hug her back too emotional to care about being embarrassed or if its 'proper'.

 *too much whiff of 'special' hair effect*

"Wh.at can I do? For..you..." I whisper in her ear weakly.

Meredith:

I keep clinging onto him, worried if I let go, he would somehow disappear and I would be left alone again.

This was real... This was not a dream?

Bash's words snap me away from my paranoid thoughts and I slowly pull away from him to answer.

"I...."

I look back towards the freezer in disdain.

"I would very much like to keep this a secret."

I don't think I could move on if everyone knew..

My shame.. was already so deep.

Desmond:

"Hi." I look past them to the window. The Xern station remains. So white and bone-like. I think back to the hallway arch bone that stabbed me and pinned me to the wall... It was kinda crazy I survived that... When so many didn't...

Eye twitches.

The others talk about Bash and... The other station and what might or might not be over there.

I keep staring at the station wondering if it's  skeleton body was going to move on its own and pierce into the ship.

"How come it's not attacking us?" I point to the Xern station. "Is it dead?... Can a skeleton even be killed?"

I don't understand....

Tamsin:

Bash....

I grind my teeth trying to stay CENTERD AND BALANCED but being so close the epicenter of death was disturbing.

I wonder if Boren took my mother from here, how many fell before he won.
No escape pods left. 

I did not want to step foot there again. Not even to say goodbye.

I monitor as some scavenger ships slowly started to go away from our presence.

A few still were using drones and other means to drill and dig inside ice chunks and ripped hulls.

None dare attack.

Piritates make a sharp turn away from us and all is still.

Desmond makes a comment regarding the Xern station pieces in the debris pile.

(Carry): "Its not sentient, it is dead-dead." He answers Desmond before continuing.  "We should blow it up.."

Imagine what's inside..
My eyes drift to the rocky 'The Pit' hanging off the body of it. I know very well where those rocks came from. Disturbing.

"That will have to wait. Desmond go suit up and find the King. Take head of this life form."

I eye the dots frustrated.

Sebastion:

I find myself taking her hand when she pulled away, not wanting her too.

As if she would be gone again, all a figment on a haunted station.

I glance back to the freeze listening to her request. I give her hand one last brush questioning her reality.

Secrets.. 

I felt sicker now. This had to be real. 

"Ok... I'll take care of it. You should... make contact with the ship...before they show up."

I hand her my radio and quickly go to one of the Hunter's chambers. 

I needed something faster then dragging everyone to the incinerator. 

I stop at Sabel's lodge and take in the scent of my sister.  I still wasn't sure what happened, only felt her death when it did. 

I find a grenade packed away in Sabel's room. and walk out back to the freezer.

Making sure Mer was back on the bridge away then blow it with some fire power.. NOT trusting myself to try to use the Starker smoke or Boren's soulfire to risk destroying the whole place.

I walk a few steps into the hall and rip off a panel, pulling wires and trying to destabilize the hall way's gravity to keep people out. As if it got damaged badly in the attack.

I could see Boren's burn marks on the tallest up window where he must have pressed a solider agonist.. 

There were areas it looked like something happened anyway.

I shoot the wall up  a bit more only stopping at the chapel door with  a mural of Shard's wings coming out of  volcano. 
I throw the weapon back down looking away and linger a bit around the other rooms doorway.

Alarm rings out, I hear our ship revv up and I know TIMES UP. 

I hope Meradith is ready to see everyone...

Desmond:

Carry explains and suggests blowing it up.

Ooooo. Yes.. We should do that, I think.

"Remove a reminder that brings a nest of horrible vibes and terrible juju." I nod agreeing with him.

I look to Tamsin then look to the 'life sign' blimp he's talking about.

So. Find the King. Be hesitant about life sign. Then maybe we'll blow up big bad dead skeleton.

"Alright. Sounds like a plan, dude."

Yolo and all that...

I take out the silver hunter claw pin badge from my pocket Carry gave me just before this. Guess I get to try this then. Seems fitting.

I pin it on and push in the two sides almost wing-like things that surround the claws. I gaze taking in the armor forming. Woah. Pretty.


I look at the station outside, and then the life sign blips again. ...Hopefully, I don't teleport into a wall...

I then look to the guys, give them a peace sign, and teleport away.

I squint and peer around as my eyes take in the different lighting.

I decide to be quiet. Can undead show up on life signs detectors if they aren't 'living' life?... Who knows how many vampires could be here. So, I try to just listen and breathe in scents.